Resumes flow in and out of my hands characteristically, being in the HR profession. I come across some innocent, sincere lines mentioned by candidates many a times, which convey a different meaning altogether than what is intended.
Here are a few such examples. Have inserted my comments (VP) for each…. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Please note that this article is posted Just for Fun, and has no intention to hurt, ridicule or insult any person in particular whatsoever.
- Please see last Left for Educational Summary
VP: Seems like some direction for a Map!
- Designation: sales exicativew
VP: Tried real hard to get it right!
- Job Profile:-
Independently looking after Vice President of project ………
VP: May be he is applying for a nurse’s job!
- ACHIVMENTS successfully construcated the residentian, commercial.molles. scheme "shravan apparment from shihagad road & vagholi from row housses & raje contruction,cumarsial bilding(8 floor)&ambegone
VP: Read the sentence without taking a breath! Hoooosssshhh!
- I possess the ability to relate a wide range of people and capable of achieving personal goals and objectives performing with my professional carrier till date.
VP: Achieving personal goals with ‘professional carrier’? …. Hmmm!
- Having good respect in Organization with family status.
VP: I still dint get this! If anyone of you gets it, please post a comment to explain!
- OTHER SKILLS : INDIAN DRIVING LICESES.
VP: Obtaining an ‘Indian’ driving licence…. Does it require any skill? I doubt if it even requires driving skills for that matter.
- Saved company money by taking on several job responsibilities.
VP: Now that’s a real achievement!
- Marital Status-Married
Hobbies-Body Building
VP: hahahahaha! No comments!
- Note-Now I’am free for my new Corse I.T.I Serveior Exmanation as a Temperary leave from- -company.
VP: Thanks for the info. I shall remember!
11. Industry Type : Real Estate
Product : Multi Storage Apartments’.
VP: Storage for humans!
- HOBBIES : - TOURRING AT OUT SIDE.
VP: Does anyone have a hobby of Tourring at In Side too?
13. Willingness to learn, keep passions & cool in nature, believes in hardworking as well as smart work.
VP: Keeping passions is a valuable trait really!
- PROJECT WARK DONE:- Panting work & Advantage & Disadvantage of panting
VP: Hahahahaha! You corrupt minds. He is talking about ‘Painting’! How a missing ‘i’ can bring laughter to our innocent souls!
- SEMINAR:- All type of vibrater use in construction
VP: Again, No comments! What are you thinking?
- EXTRA CURRICULAR:- Social Work
Hospitality of pilgrims every year
VP: I always thought extracurricular meant sports, reading, dancing, cooking etc.!
- JOB RESPOUNCEBILITY:
VP: Quite a pouncing one that is!
- About Myself
I AM WORKERS AND SINCERE IN MAY JOB HAVING GOOD QUALITIES OF ESTABLISHING AND MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE HONESTY INTEGRITY FAITHFULLNESS AND JOYALLY ARE MY STRENGTHS I ALWAYS ENJOY TO ACCEPT NEW CHALLENGES IN LIFE.
VP: In Marathi they say 'Bhavana pohochlya', means 'got the point'.
19. Summary:Plz dont look after my Profil. I m Fresher in this field.I m office Admin in XXXX pvt ltd. From 2years
VP: No one dares to see his profile, got it!?
- CAREER OBJECTIVE
To, pull the best from within to rice to the occasion, only to leave the marks where I work.
VP: Seems like an application for a farmer!
- STRENGTH:
Able to work for longer period without any mental and physical strain.
VP: Superman!
Now, these 2 have been received as emails:
22. Respected Mam,
As per your contacts to me, you have called me for interview today. But, today at 1:30 pm. our companie's C.M.D are coming our site for visiting propram. So, there some meetings are achived among us. So, I'm sorry for this situation! I will come soon with my c.v. in office for iterview! Thanking you!
'GOOD DAY'!!
VP: Though, I truly appreciate that he bothered to inform in advance!
- feb-11 & mar-11 not open excel sheet pls this convert be excel-2003. apr-11 to jun-11 salary sheet open only two month not open salary sheet.pls send repeat
VP: My job is at stake! I wonder what I’m supposed to do here!
Hope you guys enjoyed reading this. I will keep up the good work of collecting such artifacts. If you have come across any creative work, please feel free to share ….
ONLY FOR THE SAKE OF HUMOUR! J
Hey and do not forget to mention which one you liked the best!
P.S.: Fun continued... blog posted on Thursday, October 25, 2012
- VAISHALI PARGAONKAR
More Fun @ 1) Funny Stupid things people write in a resume
2) 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever
Hey and do not forget to mention which one you liked the best!
P.S.: Fun continued... blog posted on Thursday, October 25, 2012
- VAISHALI PARGAONKAR
More Fun @ 1) Funny Stupid things people write in a resume
2) 150 Funniest Resume Mistakes, Bloopers and Blunders Ever
1) Marital Status-Married
Hobbies-Body Building
2)PROJECT WARK DONE:- Panting work & Advantage & Disadvantage of panting
3)feb-11 & mar-11 not open excel sheet pls this convert be excel-2003. apr-11 to jun-11 salary sheet open only two month not open salary sheet.pls send repeat