HR . . . A Friend in Need OR A Friend Indeed ! ?

Where employees see HR personnel as a devil’s advocate (devil refers to management here), and management presumes HR to serve them as an advisory, HR is always expected to play with this double – edged sword effectively. And here comes the most difficult role of walking along the tight rope of managing expectations. This funambulism does not come easy to all, and needs to be acquired/developed. However amidst all this, HR feels trapped in a dilemma whether to be sociable with the employees, or to always keep the ‘professional’ approach in dealing with the staff.

There are 2 perspectives to this theory: (a) The HR Angle (b) The Employee Angle. We shall look at both from the HR point of view here.

Let’s first take the HR personnel’s angle. First and foremost argument I would like to make here is that “HR Personnel are people too.” They too are individuals who seek a confidante amongst people with whom they spend 8-9 hours in a day. HR people too are individuals who walk in with emotions much alike any other employee.

But again, they have a job to do, of ensuring discipline and managing conflicting-interest situations. They have no option but to fear such predicament, because a true HR professional should not be affected by personal biases and prejudices. Better safe than sorry! You undertake a risk of being misquoted, as what you have said or done in personal capacity or as a joke might be perceived as an act by an “HR” of the organisation.

However, it is also necessary to keep yourself approachable, since employees need to feel free to talk about their issues to the HR. Most of the times, what they just require is a good listener. Also, it helps HR understand the culture and systems prevalent in the organisation. It thus becomes imperative for an HR professional to be able to clearly distinguish between personal and professional effects in a relationship. If one cannot do so, he/she must refrain from friendships on a personal level with the colleagues. It is essential to understand that organisational commitments have precedence over personal bias.

Looking at this from an Employee’s Perspective, where some people fear coming in close quarters with HR, some employees purposefully connect with you. Very starkly, we can see employees being very conscious of what they say/do when HR is around. You find them abruptly changing the topic of conversations, or hush when HR unexpectedly appears in the scene; may be because they feel that HR is always judgemental.

Often, ‘being friends’ with the HR is seen as an option by the employees, not by choice but by compulsion. They do take extra efforts to ‘update’ / ‘inform’ HR occasionally about their achievements, especially when it’s something beyond the demands of their role. Well, some employees see to it that they make the so-called ‘true’ friendships with HR, with the sole anticipation of extracting confidential information that HR is expected to have. These are the testing times for HR. For a mature HR professional, difficult here is not that he/she needs to choose the organisation over friendship; but to not choose friendship over job commitments. It requires strong will, risk-bearing ability and clear professional & personal goals, making emotional stress a part of routine.

All said and done, it is absolutely indispensable for HR to be friendly with the employees. Being social with colleagues outside office might be a riskier option, nonetheless they always need to be aware that every move they make or every word they say, must be well-thought upon to measure the consequences. Performing a balancing act during the working hours also becomes elemental. While keeping the ‘human element’ in our profession alive, we sometimes need to forget that we too are human beings with emotional needs, we too have issues that we need to share with ‘friends’, we too need to enjoy and spend some casual moments with colleagues without calculating costs and risks that we might have to bear. May be we need to change the very definition of “FRIENDSHIP” that otherwise applies to us in the outside world. . .

- VAISHALI PARGAONKAR